Handshakes and high-fives; call this a co-op

The Game
As a teenager attending public school in the US, I took some liberties in how I addressed my teachers, my approach towards school work and my general disposition. When I say liberties, I mean that I was rude to teachers and administrators, hated school work and had a terrible attitude. I thought I could argue my way in or out of any situation I wanted, school work included. What really happened though, was that I found myself in trouble… often, with poor grades and a shrinking group of friends.

In my Defense
I wasn't totally off base. I argued against school rules I found unfair and fought against stereotypes (ironically because I was a living teenage stereotype). I also found that I was good at arguing; not just for argument's sake but in developing a decent and defendable position. I was resolute in my belief that fighting against something was better that working with something for change. I had a screamo-metal-band (think Deftones meets Rage Against the Machine) with fans (both of them) who supported our plight. I was convinced I had a good thing going and my way was the rightway. Heck, I even proved a few teachers and administrators wrong with only a detention or threat of suspension as their shield. As a teenager, all I needed was one reason to hold my foolish ways as truth and I was finding several.

Symbolic High-fives
My friends didn't literally give me high-fives. (Except when I played baseball. In baseball, the universal player-to-player show of appreciation is the high-five… or the butt-slap.) My friends laughed at my jokes, relished in how I regaled them with colourful tales of disobedience, and some even payed money for the concerts my band put on. These were the high-fives and the butt-slaps that let me know I was on the right track with my peers.

Handshakes
As I enrolled in college in St. George, Utah in the fall of 1998, I realized that my fanbase had shrunk considerably… to one: me. The band: broken-up, the reputation: nonexistent, the courage: extinct, the fight: a tepid squall within. I was in unfamiliar territory and I could not take the same approach. I learned that no one was impressed with immature contumacy and that, outside of high school, I was a no one.
I also learned that people appreciate other people who are kind, who smile a lot, and who work positively for change. It was earth-shattering. How could this happen? How could I be so far off base?

The Co-op
I was also getting closer to the age of missionary service in my church. I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and as a 18 year old young man in the church I would be eligible to submit my application (we call it submitting your papers) to be a missionary. This meant I had to grow up and learn to get along with others. This meant I had to live my religion better. This meant I had to prepare to serve others for 2 years, full-time, with no days off.
This meant I had to cooperate!
Now, I didn't have to do any of these things but I wanted to do them because I knew they would make me a better person. Deep down in my grinchy, little heart, I knew that my ways were not God's ways and that would need to change.

The Change
When a war is in full bloom, the countries engaged often change their manufacturing plants to produce goods to support their troops. The factory that once produced hammers and nails is now making bullets, bombs and guns. When the war is over, those manufacturers will retool to produce hammers and nails again.
I never made hammers and nails as a teenager but designed my factory, so to speak, to make bullets, bombs and guns. Through missionary service and myriad other experiences, I changed.
I changed and I liked it. I learned to like pleasing people. I learned that my arguing skills could be retooled to be negotiating skills. I learned that I was still good at getting people on my side and I didn't need heavy artillery.

I was WRONG
Most importantly, I learned that I was wrong… the teenage me was wrong.
It's an important lesson that I think of often as I continue to learn new things and view life through various windows/perspectives.

Lesson learned right? Don't argue and try to get along with others, right?

Well maybe this doesn't always work…

P.S. I have some photo evidence of my teenage years that I'll have to scan and put here.